


Conversations from Eternity

by daymarket



Category: Inheritance Cycle - Christopher Paolini
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Gen, just can't let go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-28
Updated: 2008-08-28
Packaged: 2017-11-07 03:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daymarket/pseuds/daymarket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're dead, but that doesn't mean their problems are over. Now that Murtagh and Eragon are due to join them in the afterlife, Selena wonders if that'll make their dysfunctional family relationships Up Here even more broken than they already are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations from Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> Saved from FF.net. Inspired by A Proud Taste for Scarlet and Miniver by E.L. Konigsburg.

Selena paced back and forth across the polished cloud floor, her movements uncharacteristically jerky and brittle. Anxiety and hope had been roiling in her stomach all day, ever since she had received the news—her sons were dead.

Brom stepped up beside her, taking her sweaty hands and rubbing it gently between his two callused palms. "My dear—"

"Don't, Brom," she said, her voice betraying her tension.

"They'll pass the judging. You'll see them again soon."

Selena tried to smile, but her facial muscles couldn't quite pull it off. Quite a fair number of those who were judged at the pearly gates never made it through, and were sent Downwards—Limbo, Hell, and for an ambiguous few, a second chance in Reincarnation. Taking a deep breath, Selena stared across the vast expanse of cloud and the heavenly lake, to where a distant figure paced on the opposite shore, a speck of red lounging by it.

Abruptly, she jerked her hand out of Brom's. He looked at her and frowned, following her gaze. His brow darkened, the way it always did whenever Morzan was mentioned. "Him?" Brom said, sounding disgusted.

"He  _is_  Murtagh's father," Selena said, resuming her pacing.

Brom scowled. "And he chucked a sword at his son. That's fatherly affection, all right."

"You're one to talk," Selena muttered. "You beat up  _your_  son with a stick first, then a sword—"

"I was training him, my dear," Brom said, waving an airy hand. "You must admit it paid off well. Throwing swords, though—I fail to see how  _that_  ever did anything to help Murtagh." Brom glowered. "How did he ever gain admittance in the first place, anyway? That black scum belongs in Hell, if no one else does." He sniffed. "Isn't that right, Saphira?"

Behind them, a gigantic blue dragon huffed softly in agreement, sending a puff of smoke wafting over Selena. Selena coughed slightly, moving out of the smoke as Saphira said,  _Aderes is a fine figure of a dragon, but that Rider of his…_

Brom looked askance at Saphira. "What?"

The blue dragon preened slightly, her wings shifting.  _I have eyes in my head,_  she said at last.

"You—" Brom began. "You liked Aderes?"

 _I might have_ , Saphira said guardedly.  _He was pleasant enough. Until we tried to kill each other. And until, of course, Morzan killed me. That somewhat destroyed any hope of further romance._

Brom shuddered. "The mind boggles," he muttered, jamming his hands into the pockets of his tunic. "I can't  _believe_  you liked the dragon of that black-hearted son of a—"

"Oh, hush, Brom," Selena snapped, her voice carrying an uncharacteristic edge. Brom stopped muttering and stared at her, for she rarely snapped out at anyone. "Honestly, it's been years," Selena continued, pacing along the cloudy lake. "And it all ended up fair in the end, didn't it? He killed Saphira, you killed Aderes, and then you killed  _him—"_

"I didn't kill Aderes!" Brom said, aggravated.

"You directed the Varden operation to ambush him," Selena said, frowning.

Brom sputtered. "All right, so maybe I did," he conceded with bad grace after a while. "But you must admit—for two Riders who had their dragons predecease them, I certainly coped better. At least I didn't turn to drink and hurl a sword at my son." Reaching out, he grabbed Selena's arm. "And whose son turned out better?"

Selena appeared to chew over this question for a while. "I don't know," she said at last. "And let go."

Brom let go of her arm, staring moodily at the distant specks that were Morzan and Aderes. "How do you mean? Don't tell me you weren't watching us." He gestured at the water of the heavenly lake; through it, the inhabitants of Heaven could watch the folk on earth—not interfere, only watch. "I mean, you must admit—once you've listened to ten concerts of assorted lyre music and admired the Garden of Eden properly, there's not much else to do."

"I never got to be there when my sons grew up," Selena said wistfully, leaning down to touch the clear water. "So, I don't know."

Brom looked miffed by this statement. "But you watched me train Eragon and—"

"—and watched Murtagh grow up in the castle of that royal bastard, Galbatorix," Selena spat vehemently.

"—you must admit he's turned out somewhat better than Murtagh. I mean, just now, in the Battle of Uru'baen, who was the one who sacrified himself to kill Galbatorix?"

"Oh, I hope that damned creature goes Downwards," Selena said, not really listening. "If anyone deserves to go to Hell, it's Galbatorix. You know, I'm not really sure he's human. No human could have such a foul heart—"

"And you call  _me_  prejudiced, Selena?"

That silenced her, as a rueful smile curved her lips. "Sorry."

"Pot calling kettle black, my love."

"You're right," Selena sighed. As Brom's arms curled around her, she allowed herself to relax into his hold. "I just—of all the Riders whose dragons predeceased them, Brom, I think that Galbatorix turned out the worst."

"Makes you glad you're not a Rider?"

Selena started to reply, but was interrupted by Saphira's tail lightly tapping Brom on the head. The Rider looked up, grinning at his dragon. "I wouldn't give  _you_  up for anything," Brom said, freeing one hand from Selena's grasp to pat Saphira gently on the scales. "But the pain of the loss, when it does happen…"

"What brings pain and joy to the same heart, where they flower side by side? Love, of course," Selena said dreamily, drawing circles in the lake. "Lo, the transforming power of love…"

"Pretty heavy koan you've got there," Brom said after a moment.

"Yes, well. I didn't see you breaking down after  _I_  died," Selena said. "I watched you from Heaven, you know. When you got the news that I was dead, you took maybe five minutes to wipe away some nonexistent tears before getting on with the rest of your life—"

" _You_  broke up with  _me_ , remember?" Brom chided. "I didn't want to end the relationship. I said, let's elope. I can protect you and Eragon—our son—from Morzan. We can live out our lives together—"

"I couldn't leave Murtagh behind," Selena said quietly.

"And who else?" Brom said, his voice just as quiet. "Only Murtagh? Or were you going back for someone else's sake?"

There was a tense silence. Finally, Selena said, "Fine. For Morzan's, too."

Brom snorted. Selena pushed his arms away from her, pulling free of his hold. "Oh, stop it!" she said. "I'm not obligated to follow your plans for my life—or I wasn't. And I still am not! I can do whatever I want and love whomever I choose without your approval, you pompous,  _arrogant_  old man!"

"Certainly you are," Brom said coolly. "I didn't say a word, did I?"

"You snorted," Selena pointed out.

"That could mean anything and you know it." He sighed. "Stop trying to pick a fight, Selena. I just want to talk."

Selena sighed, rubbing her temples with her palms. "I know," she said at last. "I'm just—I'm so worried, Brom. I want them both to make it. I don't care what they did or which father they had. They're still both my sons." She wrapped her arms around herself, staring bleakly across the lake.

"I know," Brom said softly.

"I wish I were as sure as you," Selena mumbled. "Because right now, I don't know anything."

Across the lake, the human figure stood up, moving to the dragon. Selena turned her gaze away restlessly before finally settling on Brom. He touched her face gently, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ears. "What?"

"Distract me," Selena said. "Tell me something—anything. You trained Eragon—my son. Our son. How…what was he like?"

"You watched. What did you think?"

"Watching isn't the same as being. Now  _talk_  to me, will you? I might go crazy if I have to sit here any longer, just waiting. I—"

"Okay, okay, I'll talk," Brom said soothingly. "He...Eragon's a fine lad. Bright enough, willing to learn. A bit careless when I knew him, but—"

"I wish he hadn't pursued that Arya," Selena said wistfully. "Watching that through the lake was  _humiliating_."

Brom's lips twitched. "I thought you wanted me to talk?"

"Oh. Sorry." Selena ducked her head in apology.

"Yes, well, I knew Arya long ago—that was before I met you, and way before you died. She's…a fine elf. Unusual even among the elves."

Selena shook her head. "Morzan never had a very high opinion of elves," she admitted. "He called them…well, it wasn't very nice."

"Well, he spent all his time dabbling in black magic," Brom said disdainfully. "No wonder he'd find the clean, noble magic of the elves to be—"

"Please, no slander!" Selena said.

"Why are you defending him?" Brom asked, looking at her intently. "This is the man who beat you, half-raped you once, kept you from your son, threw sword at said son, got drunk, was once the right-hand man to Galbatorix, who you said you wanted to see rot in Hell—and you're  _defending_  him?"

Selena winced, looking away. "When you put it that way—"

"The truthful way, you mean?" Brom said sharply.

"No, the—I don't know!" Selena said. "He was a good father, he was a good husband…"

"Until Aderes died? So everything he did after that point can be justified by Aderes's death, is it? Every drunken beating, every curse, every manipulation—"

"Stop it," Selena said, her voice wavering.

"Every time that he mocked you, treated you like his slave, and that's not even counting the time that he nearly raped you and kept you from your son because he was  _stealing your love_ , every moment of jealousy and rage—"

"Enough!" Selena screamed.

Brom fell silent. Selena looked away, panting hard.

"I don't know," she said at last, her voice ragged. "I…"

"Does he know?" Brom said quietly.

"Know what?"

"Know that Eragon's not his son."

Selena bit her lip, and then shrugged. "I…I don't know."

Brom frowned. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

Selena sighed. "I haven't…I haven't talked to him since I came. He…he's kept out of my way. As I've stayed out of his."

A certain fleeting look of satisfaction crossed Brom's face, but it was gone in an instant. "Whose choice was that?" he asked softly.

"Mutual, I think," Selena said with a half-desperate laugh. "I mean, he died before I did, right? Albeit just by a few weeks. But he hasn't approached me…I haven't talked to him. No." She looked up in Brom's face, her eyes dark. He raised an eyebrow at her gaze.

"Yes?"

Selena sighed. Looking away, she swallowed the words she most wanted to say. After a long moment, she said quietly, "Can't we just—just forgive and forget?"

"No," Brom said, his voice hard. Above his head, Saphira nodded.

Selena gritted her teeth and didn't say anything, looking off into the distance. A hand on her shoulder broke her reverie, as a deeper voice said sharply, "Definitely  _not_."

She turned around, glad of the distraction from her turmoil of feelings. "You didn't even  _know_  Morzan that well," she reproved mildly. "And you certainly took a long time getting here. What took so long?"

Garrow shrugged. He exchanged a cordial nod with Brom and Saphira before turning back to Selena and saying, "I didn't get the news about the deaths till rather late. I suppose they thought that, since I'm not a very close blood relative and only raised Eragon for a few years—before he became a Rider and all that—that I didn't really need to know…"

"Oh, Garrow," Selena said, touching him gently on the arm.

Garrow shrugged again. "Well, I'm here now. Anyway, as I was saying about Morzan—I did so know him. He brought you by a couple of times, remember? Visited us, once with Murtagh?"

"That was—you didn't even  _talk_  to him, as far as I know—"

"All I needed to know was the look on your face when you returned to Carvahall," Garrow said, his expression darkening. "You looked—haunted. Scared. And that man—Morzan—it was his fault." He scowled. "If he weren't a Rider, I'd've decked him."

"Why—" Selena sighed, rubbing her temples. "That's very sweet of you, brother, but I can take care of myself."

"You didn't look take-cared-of when  _I_  saw you," Garrow retorted.

"Well, I was preoccupied—"

"With running away?" Garrow said dryly.

"Oh—well—you know what, both of you are basing your conclusions on—on piecemeal and gossip. You don't—you don't  _understand_. Morzan—well, he was very sweet before Aderes died—"

"I was very sweet, too, before Morzan killed Saphira," Brom retorted. "And I managed to stay very sweet  _after_  Morzan killed Saphira, which was the whole point. Oh, stop laughing. I was sweeter than Morzan, at any rate."

"Not everyone copes with stress the same way," Selena pointed out, turning her back on him as her mind raced. She should change the subject—this wasn't something she could—or wanted to—face right now. "So how's Roran, Garrow?" she asked after a moment, her voice falsely light.

Garrow raised an eyebrow. "That was abrupt."

"And not very subtle, either," Brom pointed out. "I thought you learned the manners of court, with their dashing ripostes of conversation and—"

"I decided that it wasn't worth wasting on you lot. I'm changing the subject, and that's that," she retorted, still not looking at Brom. Smiling brightly at Garrow, she said, "So. How about Roran?"

Garrow sighed and gave in. "He's fine." Crouching down, he poked a finger into the still waters of the lake; it rippled, changing to reflect an image of Roran—bloodstained, weary, but alive. "He survived the Battle of Uru'baen—smashed in a couple more heads with his hammer—lad's doing great." He brightened. "And Katrina's alive, too. So that'll be my chance for my name to live on…"

"And how's Marian taking it?" Selena asked dryly, referring to Garrow's wife and her sister-and-law, also in Heaven.

"Oh, deliriously happy," Garrow grinned.

" _Especially_  since Katrina made it, too?"

"Yes, especially that."

"You're so predictable," Selena said, crouching down and hugging Garrow. She let go of him and grinned. "So Roran survived…"

Brom crouched down at her other side, running a hand through the water. "Quite a few didn't," he said.

Selena sighed. "I'm trying to distract myself, Brom, and you're not helping me forget that my sons are dead and waiting to be judged. So I'm going to talk to Garrow about happy things. And ignore you. Have I forgotten anything?"

Brom raised an eyebrow. "No."

"Good," Selena said firmly, turning her back to him. "So who do you think will rule Alagaesia now?" she said to Garrow.

Garrow shrugged. "You know I was never any good at politics, sister. I don't know. Don't really care. Roran's been making plans to rebuild Carvahall—Carvahall version two—"

"New Carvahall," Selena suggested.

Garrow smiled. "Yes, that's perfect. New Carvahall. Anyway, he'll probably rebuild it, and then settle down with Katrina and have a dozen bouncing babies. And live happily ever after, I think."

Selena sighed. "That's so sweet."

"I don't know about sweet…happy, yes. Sweet?"

"Oh, because manly men never say 'sweet,'" Selena mocked.

"Exactly. Even the word 'happy' must be wrenched out from between our lips. Emotions are not our thing, Selena."

"Of course not, Garrow," she said agreeably, closing her eyes and resting it on Garrow's shoulder.

They sat together in silence, their toes dipped into the cool water of the lake. Brom coughed discreetly after a minute or so. "Am I allowed to talk now, Selena?"

"Only if you're going to say something happy. And nothing bad about Morzan," Selena said without opening her eyes.

Brom cleared his throat. After a bit of hemming and hawing, he said, "If you could choose, Selena, between me or Morzan—who would you choose? Who would you spend the rest of your life with…?"

"I'm dead, remember?" Selena said, an edge to her voice.

"Well, the rest of eternity. And you still can choose, you know." Brom cleared his throat again and looked away. "Even if he  _is_  here in Heaven too. Goodness knows why."

"I haven't talked to Morzan since I died. I told you that," Selena said, fighting to keep her voice calm.

"Well, I'm just asking—"

"Brom," Selena said, the word carrying a dozen connotations. "Enough."

Brom silenced, but she could hear his soft footsteps as he paced behind her. Garrow's arm tightened around her; she leaned into him, grateful for the comfort—familial, brotherly comfort. Enough with the lovers already.

"Selena." There was a clear undertone of disgust in Brom's voice as he spoke her name. "Wake up, Selena.  _He's_  here."

Above her, Saphira hissed softly. Selena's eyes flew open, and she stood carefully—not quickly, which would've made her seem too eager, and not slowly, which would've made her seem afraid. Despite her best efforts, her heart sped up as she turned around.

It was painful, in a way—when she entered Heaven, she'd seen him in the distance—watching her, but he'd never made a move to approach her. She kept out of his way; he kept out of hers; they hadn't talked for a very long time…

Memories. Too many memories.

"Selena," he greeted softly.

"Morzan," she said just as softly, inclining her head in greeting. "Aderes." The great red dragon growled softly in acknowledgement.

"And what do you want?" Brom said stiffly, as Saphira snarled.

Morzan ignored him and Garrow, both of whom were poised like cats ready to pounce. "I think it's almost time, Selena. They're there," he said quietly.

"How do you know?" Selena asked.

"And why do you care?" Garrow muttered under his breath.

Morzan closed his eyes—his mismatched eyes, one green, one hazel. Just like his personality, and his fate. "I saw them at the Gates," he said after a moment, opening them. His gaze remained steady on Selena's face.

"They're being judged? Now?" Selena said. She stepped forward, involuntarily grabbing his arm. Morzan started, clearly surprised by the touch as he glanced down at her hand on his arm. His expression, when she looked at his face, was conflicted.

"We should probably go, then," Brom said firmly. Selena jumped almost guiltily and removed her hand from Morzan's arm. "Come on, Selena."

Selena looked back at Morzan's face—it was calm and blank, but she knew him well enough to see shifting of his jaw as he bit back whatever he wanted to say, the hesitation in his movements. On an impulse, she pulled away from Brom.

She didn't look back to see Brom's expression; she kept her eyes fixed on Morzan. "Um," she said, her throat suddenly dry as he regarded her with a polite, quizzical expression.

"Yes?" he said, his voice polished and smooth.

"I just—" she hesitated. "I—"

Was it true? Was anything true at this point? She'd had years to fight with herself over this point—did she love him? She'd loved Brom—did love Brom. But—Morzan, the years they'd had together before Aderes died—he'd loved her. And she'd loved him. And all of it—sweet, bittersweet, nostalgia…

"Eragon's not your son," she blurted out. "I just wanted to make sure that you knew that."

A dozen things flashed across Morzan's face before it was wiped blank again, as calm and serene as ever. "I understand," he said, his voice just slightly flatter than before.

"Yes," Selena said, looking down at her hands. "So…um…"

She fumbled. Looked at Morzan's face, then away. Bit the inside of her mouth hard enough to make it bleed.

"We'd better go," she said abruptly, turning away.

She fled in the direction of the Gates, where two dragons—one ruby, one sapphire—paced. Two dragons, two sons, two fathers, two choices. All in all, too much to face.


End file.
